Sunday, 20 October 2013

Things More Useful Than Joe Kinnear

Joe Kinnear: A modern day proverbial chocolate fire guard...

Joe Kinnear: The modern day
proverbial chocolate fire guard.
At the close of the transfer window many Newcastle fans were questioning the point of Joe Kinnear's role at the club*, and there were a few tweets doing the rounds on twitter using the hashtag #ThingsMoreUsefulThanJoeKinnear.

* Actually, long before the close of the transfer window fans were questioning the point of Joe Kinnear (and that's the polite way of describing fan reaction).

Some of these tweets brought a chuckle to my face, so I thought I would do a round up of the most amusing tweets (plus a few other examples) in a list of 'Things More Useful Than Joe Kinnear'...

1) #ThingsMoreUsefulThanJoeKinnear Alan Shearer's hairbrush. (@GeordieCulture)

2) #ThingsMoreUsefulThanJoeKinnear The 'g' in lasagne.

3) #ThingsMoreUsefulThanJoeKinnear The 'share this on facebook' button on any adult website.

4) #ThingsMoreUsefulThanJoeKinnear An ejector seat on a helicopter.

5) #ThingsMoreUsefulThanJoeKinnear Xisco (@nufcawaytickets)

6) #ThingsMoreUsefulThanJoeKinnear Traffic lights in Grand Theft Auto.

7) #ThingsMoreUsefulThanJoeKinnear A crowd control officer at Wigan.

8) #ThingsMoreUsefulThanJoeKinnear An inflatable dart board.

9) #ThingsMoreUsefulThanJoeKinnear A chicken wire watering can. (@MadamShelley)

"Get in the hole!"
Useful advice for a tee shot on a par 5.
10) #ThingsMoreUsefulThanJoeKinnear The second half of the Countdown clock.

11) #ThingsMoreUsefulThanJoeKinnear A black highlighter pen.

12) #ThingsMoreUsefulThanJoeKinnear People at golf tournaments who shout 'Get in the Hole!' after a tee shot on a par 5.

If anyone else has any other things which are more useful than Joe Kinnear then feel free to leave a comment. 

Footnote: Maybe I'm being a bit paranoid with this line of thinking, but perhaps the actual real reason why Joe Kinnear was brought in was to take the flak for the lack of new signings and deflect criticism away from Mike Ashley, rather than to actually sign any new players.  In that respect Kinnear maybe had a little bit of success initially, but I think on the whole, fan response such as the Mike Ashley Out Campaign show that we as Newcastle United fans have remained focused on who the chief muppet at the club is.

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